I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY

If you want to be happy, be happy
If you want to stay sad, stay sad
I choose to be happy
Happiness will console me
And make my sadness fade away

If you want to be happy, be happy
If you want to stay sad, stay sad
I choose to be happy
Happiness will give light to me
And darkness will disappear

If you want to be happy, be happy
If you want to stay sad, stay sad
I choose to be happy
Happiness will give heat to my cold body
And burn away all excesses

If you want to be happy, be happy
If you want to stay sad, stay sad
I choose to be happy
Happiness will take away every burden
And make me forget my sorrow

If you want to be happy, be happy
If you want to stay sad, stay sad
I choose to be happy
Happiness will give me strength to fight
And declare me as the winner in life's battles

If you want to be happy, be happy
If you want to stay sad, stay sad
I choose to be happy
Happiness is not defined by what is happening around me
Happiness is what I choose regardless of my situation

If you want to be happy, be happy
If you want to stay sad, stay sad
I choose to be happy
Happiness is choosing to stay calm even in a storm
Knowing beyond all doubts, that everything will be all right

If you want to be happy, be happy
If you want to stay sad, stay sad
What will it profit you, if you stay sad?
You will lose out of life’s wonderful opportunities
You will live in self-pity, and in future, you will regret your decision to ‘stay sad’.

TAKE RISK (part 2)

Fear is a feeling that overwhelms us with the possibility of failure- Ayobami Abiodun

 Read Part 1 here

When I was a student, any time we are in Harmattan season, we don’t like to take our bath in the morning because it’s always cold. Those days when we have lectures in the morning, we will boil water using an electric kettle, pour the water into our bathing bucket, and mix the hot water with normal water (cold water), so that we can bath with warm water. 

When we pour the water from the kettle into our bucket and mix it will normal water, we will first deep our hand into the water to ascertain if the temperature of the water is ok for us, then we proceed to use the water to take our bath. What are we doing when we dip our hand into the water? Of course! We are simply testing the water temperature. Are you aware that pouring the water on our body was a risk? Though we already have an idea of how the warm water should feel on our skin because we dipped our hand into the water when mixing, but that does not guarantee that the water temperature is ok for our body. 

Several times, when we pour the water on our body, it feels hotter than expected, so we will quickly add more water. Dipping our hand into the water was our way to acclimatize ourselves. This can be categorized as an example of constructive risk. Though we don’t know the outcome effect of the water when we eventually pour it on our body (risk means doing something of which you are not sure of the outcome), but taking that step alone had given us the platform to reason if the risk we are about to take (pouring the water on our body), worth it. After reasoning, we decide to take the risk by pouring the warm water on our body. 

Constructive risk encourages reasoning. Even though you can’t ascertain the result; you can prepare for the outcome of the result and plan ahead of the outcome. If you refuse to take a constructive risk, there will be damages, and it might be too late to repair those damages. We have heard of many people that took risks and lost everything. They were once rich, but now they are extremely poor, once healthy, but now with diseases such as hypertension, stroke, heart failure. etc. The risk they took was not constructive, so it caused damages to them. Constructive risk will never cause any damage even when it fails.

Back to my illustration: Any student that refuses to take a constructive risk during Harmattan season (i.e acclimatizing themselves by first dipping his/her hands into the water) is at the expense of danger. If they just take the risk of pouring water on their body immediately after mixing the hot and normal water, they run the danger of being burnt or their skin peeled. Yes, they also mixed the hot water with cold water, but not analyzing/ calculating the quantity of water required, they will expose their body to skin damage. 

If they pour the water on their body, and it peeled their skin due to the degree of hotness of the water, they won’t be able to add more normal water to the water inside the bucket because they can’t continue to take their bath again. They will have to leave the bathroom with sores all over their body, unlike those that took a constructive risk, even if it turns out to be still hot on the skin, it won’t be to be extent of causing sores on their skin (damage), they will only need to add more normal water and continue bathing. 

For everybody that takes constructive risks, when s/he fails, s/he will move on. His/her world will not stop at that very moment because s/he failed. S/he will be able to guide and coach people, therefore there won’t be any damage caused instead wisdom will be gained (wisdom from experience), but for those that take just any risks, they always have a scar that remains permanently with them. When they lose, their life stops that very moment, everything becomes damaged beyond repair. 

Before taking any risk, always ask yourself: Does it worth it? If your answer is yes, then proceed to take the risk, but if your answer is no or you can’t boldly say yes, perhaps your heart skips and you start to breathe fast anytime you ask yourself the question or you feel insecure or maybe something starts pricking you, even though you can’t figure out what it is, then don’t take the risk. 

Please note, fear is different from feeling uneasy. Fear is a feeling that overwhelms us with the possibility of failure; its campaign “what if” and magnify “uncertainty” while feeling uneasy is an indication that something can go wrong or something is wrong, so it is left for us to reason and figure out what could probably go wrong. It is normal to be afraid of taking risks, but fear does not indicate that the risk does not worth it. On the contrary, fear could be an indication that the risk worth it.

We are always afraid anytime we are faced with uncertainty and risk is a game of uncertainty, so you should always expect that you will be afraid to take risks. On the other hand, feeling uneasy could be your clue to salvation: to save yourself from taking just any risk. Often time, our instinct also does a great job in leading us as it gives us signs and initiates reasoning with us. Instinct is very strong and it always gives an indication that something needs evaluation. 

Instinct is totally different from fear. If you are afraid of taking risks, I mean constructive risk, know that it is normal, but don’t let your fear hinder you from taking a constructive risk. Take the risk anyway: Overcome your fear and take the bold step. And if you can’t overcome your fear, just do it even being afraid. The secret of overcoming fear is “just do it”. Just take the first step and fear will disappear. Great men also deal with fear anytime they are about to take a step in life or make changes, but they have mastered the act of fear and know how to efficiently manage their fear. If what you feel is fear even when you know the risk worth it, then be rest assured that you are on the right track and you are about to unlock your success.

I strongly believe in risk, but taking any risk that comes to me is foolishness. I don't need to dwell more on my thought before taking a risk, I just have to ask myself a question "does this risk worth it" if my answer is 'yes', then I will take the risk. I know for sure that even if I lose I will be empowered to guide others through the wisdom I gained from the experience because I took a constructive risk.

There is more than enough risk in this world. Life itself is also a risk; we live our life by taking risks. We go out/do our daily activities and sleep. We take the risk of not seeing the next day. Even though we know we are mortals and can die anytime, we still always take risks and even plan ahead of our uncertainty. So why do we take the life risk? The answer is not far fetched, It is simply because 'Life worth the risk'. When we take the risk of sleeping; some wake up while some do not wake up. Life is a risk that we all take on a daily basis because we know it worth the risk. Take a risk, a risk that worth it (constructive) so that you can unlock success.

TAKE RISK (part 1)

Success is surrounded by risk. Don’t just take any risk; take a calculated risk – Ayobami Abiodun

Most times, I hear people say “for you to be successful; you must be ready to take risks.” This statement has caused many problems such as hypertension, high blood pressure, trauma, insanity, heart failure and extreme cases of suicide/ death. Is there a problem with the statement? No, the problem is with the understanding of the statement. People do not understand the concept of risk. They take any risk that comes their way just because they were told that “you have to take risks in life if you want to be successful; great and successful people took risks”.

In as much as the statement is true, the understanding of people about this statement is poor. I want to change your orientation and help you understand RISKS so that you can take risks that will unlock your success.

Take Risks in Your Life; If you Win, you Can Lead! If you Lose; You Can Guide! -Swami Vivekananda

Take ‘calculated risk’. If you win, you will lead and inspire others with your story and if you lose, you will direct and motivate others through your experience and lessons you learnt.

What do I mean by taking a calculated risk? The word ‘calculated’ means constructive. A constructive risk is a measured and built risk. There is enough danger in risk, so taking just any risk that comes could be very dangerous. At times, the person might not win or lose, the person may get disconnected (die in the process); unable to tell his/her risk story.

I remembered when MMM (Ponzi scheme) came to Nigeria around August 2016 or there about, many people started marketing MMM, so that they could earn more money as their network grows. There was news warning Nigerians about the scheme that MMM is not authentic, it is going to crash with their money. Then, I heard an MMM marketer quoting the statement that: “for you to be successful; you must be ready to take risks”. He went on to list great business men names like Bill gate, Mark Zuzerburg, Alico Dangote, Donald trump, Femi Otedola, Wale Adenuga etc. He said that they all took risks that is why they are where they are today and he ended his speech by saying “Be ready to take risks! Join MMM today”.

I laughed when I heard his speech. Obviously, He was misguiding the people about Risks, because of his own interest. Unfortunately, many people have fallen as a result of misconception of risk. The word ‘Risk’ has been manipulated by self-centered people and has been accepted by greedy people.

Someone came to our office when I was still working as a customer relations manager. He came to introduce our staffs to a business. He said it’s an investment business; you will invest a certain amount of money, they will invest it in a startup business that has registered with them, and you will get over 500% ROI (Return on investment) every month end.

Let’s do the calculation: if you invest 100,000 into their business, it means that every month you will collect 500,000 plus other benefits they promised. Seriously! Are you surprised? Oh, don’t tell me that you are thinking “what a cool business”. Yeah, it sounded so good, clean and smooth, but it is obviously not feasible in the business world. How can a startup business give me over 500% ROI considering other factors? A really good return on investment for an active investor is 15% annually, but here is a company promising over 500% ROI.

Many of my colleagues invested into the business. Anytime I ask them to explain how a startup business can give investors over 500% ROI on a monthly basis. They always tell me they don’t know, that they are only taking risks. Of which, It is not a risk, it is greediness; they want to be rich overnight. Risk does not deny procedures neither does it deny reasoning. The executives of the investment company understand that many people are greedy and that people won’t want to admit the fact they are greedy, so they disguise their greediness as Risk to be taken for them to become great.

The Executives capitalized on this understanding and built their business around it. The executives are obviously self-centered, they don’t care how people will feel when they lose their money. My colleagues invested in the business, they did not get any ROI at the end of the month. Some of them went to their office to complain, they were told to exercise patience that the business they invested their money into, kick-started late, so they should be expecting their money in the next 2 weeks. One week into the date promised by the organizers (executives), some other staffs went to their office again, only for them to discover that they weren’t there again. Many of my colleagues and others that invested into the business lost their money. That’s what happens if you are greedy; your greediness will block your sense of reasoning, exposes you to misfortune and pin you to failure. Cut off your greedy act disguised as a risk; greediness is totally different from risk.

Let’s get down to discussing risk and not greed. Great people don't take risks as it comes their way, they take constructive risks. The MMM marketer that listed the names of successful businessmen, stating that they all took risks was actually right to an extent but none of them took all risks that came their way. They took constructive risks; this explains why they are successful.

Taking risks simply mean you are not sure if it will work out fine, so you give it a try. Take constructive risks; constructive risks have no defeat attached to it. Perhaps you lose; you will guide others. Meaning you are still successful because the ability to guide others (through experience) is also a Success (obtained from wisdom). This ability to guide others will bring you fulfilment and happiness as you see those you have coached doing great things. Your experience will empower you, and learning from your experience will make you wise (wisdom always learns). If you take constructive risks; you cannot be defeated even if you lose?

I have been saying that you should take constructive risks, so what is the attribute of constructive risk? Constructive risk doesn't necessarily mean a well-thought decision. It only asks one question "Does it worth it". Constructive risk will make you know if that risk worth it or not. Wisdom will always lead you to take risks that worth the try while foolishness will always lead you to take any risks that come.

Around January 2017 when the MMM Ponzi scheme finally crashed in Nigeria, I heard the news that a single mother of two committed suicide because her money crashed with the scheme. She had put in all she had into the scheme, believing that she will be 30% richer at the end of the month. What a sad news! I’m concerned about her 2 kids she left behind. Only if she had taken a constructive risk, she would have been well informed through reasoning that explains if a risk worth it. Most of the people that became the victim of MMM crash invested in the scheme out of greed while the few people that took risks in investing in the scheme did not take a constructive risk. Constructive risks will ask you If the risk worth it by giving you procedures and awakening your reasoning.

Note: Risk does not defile procedural action. If you are faced with any risk that can’t give an explanation of its procedure, that risk is a red flag, walk away from it.

Read Part 2 here

NOTHING IS BEYOND YOU

Yes, you can run fast

Not faster than your legs

Yes, you can eat fast

Not faster than your mouth

Yes, you can see clearly

Not clearer than your eyes

Yes, you can hear clearly

Not clearer than your ears

Yes, you can speak fluently

Not more than your tongue

Yes, you can write fluently

Not more than your hand

Yes, you can think deeply

Not deeper than your mind

Yes, you can breathe deeply

Not deeper than your lungs

Nothing is beyond you!

Everything that involves you is subject to you

Don’t live your life as though it is finished

As long as you are alive, you are in charge

Nothing is beyond you!

Every problem you face has a solution

And the solution is within you

Dig deep;  express the solution

Face your challenges

And you will come out victorious

Face your fears

And you will become bold

Nothing happens to you without you

Why let people and situations define you?

Take charge of your life

All that matters is you

KNOCKED DOWN! STAND UP!

Knocked down! Stand up!
Knocked down! Stand up!
Stand up! For the future await you
The future will not give up on you
So don’t give up on yourself

Knocked down! Stand up!
Knocked down! Stand up!
Stand up! Life is short
Time waits for nobody
Though you are knocked down, you can’t afford to stay down

Knocked down! Stand up!
Knocked down! Stand up!
Stand up! You have a story to tell
Don’t let fear steal your story
Do something, write something and publish something

Knocked down! Stand up!
Knocked down! Stand up!
Stand up! Don’t dwell in your failed attempt
Life is a teacher; it gives lesson through experience
So learn from your mistake

Knocked down! Stand up!
Knocked down! Stand up!
Stand up! For how long will you take solace in self-pity?
How long will you let opportunities pass you by?
Because you refused to stand up

Knocked down! Stand up!
Knocked down! Stand up!
Stand up! Take responsibility for your life
Stop blaming everybody around you
Do away with the bitterness

Knocked down! Stand up!
Knocked down! Stand up!
Stand up! You are not a failure
Though you were knocked down, you are not a failure
You did not fail; you learnt the best way of doing it

WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY? Part 2

 Read: Part 1

He was extremely happy. He called his family members, including his aunt to share the good news. They were also very happy though they were shocked that he used part of his school fees to gamble, but who cares to scold him since he won. The next day, he went there to claim his prize, his family members were there too, and it felt like he was dreaming. Different news casters were calling for his attention in order to interview him. He felt like a superstar; all the national newspaper covered it. He was on the front page of every newspaper in town. He became the talk of the town for weeks.

When he got back to school with his new KIA Picanto car, everyone started hailing him. All his friends that abandoned him and called him all sorts of names, came back to associate themselves with him. The same guy that was called a fool on campus was called the intelligent one. Just has the campus gist news covered him, to insult him then for using his school fees to gamble, they covered him again, but this time they talked about his bravery act and the level of intelligence he possesses as he took a risk to play the game.

What is the essence of me telling you this story? I told you this story to buttress the fact that people don’t have a constant opinion. They change with time and situation. With people, 'right' can become 'wrong' and 'wrong' can become 'right' as long as it suits their interest at that point in time. Their opinion is not always about what is right or wrong, but what is required and acceptable by their interest.

Now let me quickly ask you this question: Can you say that the boy was wrong for gambling with his school fee, or was wise and brave in taking a risk since you know that he won? Your answer will depend on your interest.

Why live your entire life based on people’s opinion, which is determined by their personal interest and not your own interest. People aren’t even sure of what they say. They say what they think at that moment. Listen to yourself; you are constant, they are not. You know what you want, they don’t know. You are confident about what you want, they are full of doubts so don’t make the mistake of letting your confidence down.

Listen to your instinct; listen to that soft inner voice within you. Listen to what you think and what you want. Just do it! Yes, do what you want. Let them talk, it’s normal, they will always talk. You just ensure to always give them a topic for discussion and leave the topic for them to analyze. Take responsibility for your life. After all, it is your life and not theirs. The more you seek acceptance from people before you do a thing, the more time flies before you realize it is impossible to get acceptance from people.

Not everybody will support you. If you can support yourself, that is just ok, as a matter of fact, that is all you need to start a thing and finish it. Just believe in yourself. Even if people believe in you, but you seem not to believe in yourself, you will fail in that thing. The most important step to achieve success is for you to believe in your dream and ability. Yes, you can! Your belief controls your way of life, and summarize your story.

What story do you want to be written about you? Is it a success story or a defeated story? Don’t rely on people. Care less, if people don’t believe in you, but if they do, it is just an extra motivation. It is you that will determine the course of your life. These people won’t live your life. You are to live your life, so why live your life to the taste of these people and to your own distaste. Will you rent a house that you don’t like, provided you have the money? Why will you rely on people’s opinion when you already have yours and yours determines your life?

Don’t be carried away by the wind of people’s opinion, it blows to and fro. Take out your writings and publish it, take out your drawings, dust it and exhibit it. Go for that course, participate in that contest, lunch that idea…  Yes, Just Do! If you are really convinced about that thing, don’t let them discourage you. Have a strong will. Success is not for the weak at heart rather for the strong minded.  Stop thinking about what will people say. Think about what you are saying about that thing. Develop your self-confidence. Accept yourself; accept both your weakness and your strength.

It doesn’t matter if you fail; it doesn’t matter if people call you a failure, at least you did what you believed in (that’s a plus for you). Never let their opinion be the basis of yours. Take pride in yourself and in your ability. Embrace your failed attempt, learn from it and be successful. Failure is not defined by the number of times a person failed, it is defined by a person’s refusal to stand up and try again. A failed attempt has a lesson to offer, so take the lesson and try again. It is ok to fail, but never to get defeated. Listen to yourself and Just do it.